Consultation experience:

People always say that marriage is to live together as a partner

It is natural to think that two people are better than one person

Support each other, help each other, of course it is bestsoulmate drawing free

But the reality is often

two people always sacrifice one

and the victim

Tends to be female

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90% of women believe that their husbands dont love her, dont love going home, are irresponsible to their family, have other women outside… all because Its caused by the mans indecisiveness, carelessness, and lack of sense of responsibility.soulmate drawing free

But according to John Gottman, a well-known American psychologist and marriage expert, who tracked 700 couples and found that:soulmate drawing free

Most Most of the conflicts between husband and wife are provoked by women, and most of the estrangements between husband and wife are caused by the attitude of women.soulmate drawing free

First: Men stay away from women, starting from being scolded and criticized

My counselor Xiaobai told me:

Her husband never helps her with housework, has no children, and goes home late every night.soulmate drawing free

After they had a big fight yesterday, Xiaobai threatened her husband with divorce , the dishes were not clean. She said a few words to her husband, who was unhappy again, threw the bowl and left.soulmate drawing free

I ask Xiaobai, does your communication with your husband always begin with harsh criticism?

Xiao Bai replied: Who made him not take things seriously? His attitude is simply irresponsible to the family, he doesnt want to work, he just doesnt love me and the children, he just…soulmate drawing free

You still know how to come back, do you still have this family in your heart? .Who do you show your face to?You cant even mop the ground, what else can you do?……

Are these conversations familiar?

Women find it difficult to talk about things. They are eager to communicate in marriage, but they often forget their original intentions when communicating. When they are angry Will be speechless.soulmate drawing free

Its like many women punish their children for their mistakes.

In the beginning, I simply spanked his ass when he did something wrong, but when he was spanking he couldnt help but say: You worthless, How could I have given birth to something like you.soulmate drawing free

Then its not your spanking that hits the child, its your language, thats the insulting words, the real hurt of those words.soulmate drawing free

When I went back to quarreling between husband and wife, I just wanted you to help me with housework, do the dishes occasionally, and then quarreled, it became: You are useless, You dont make money and dont do housework, youre such a selfish person…etc.soulmate drawing free

Once it involves insulting personality, such quarrels will hurt feelings and make the other party unwilling to get close to you.soulmate drawing free

When a man loses a sense of intimacy with a woman in a marriage, the marriage is prone to derailment.

Second: emotional restoration, which always ends in failure.soulmate drawing free

After the husband and wife quarrel, the two ignore each other. At this time, most husbands will take the initiative to seek reconciliation. This is emotional restoration.soulmate drawing free

However, many women reject their husbands reconciliation at this time, so their relationship restoration fails.

have i met my soulmate

After many failed emotional repairs, men will be too lazy to coax women.soulmate drawing free

Many women cried and cried, saying that my husband always coaxed me before, but now he doesnt love me anymore and ignores me when he sees me sad.

Why? Because you did it yourself.

When the husband throws an olive branch, the wife must not continue to hold on to the problem!soulmate drawing free

I met my old colleague for breakfast at the restaurant this morning. The two big dark circles under my eyes showed that I didnt sleep well last night.soulmate drawing free

He told me that he went out drinking with his friends last night and forgot to call his wife. After returning home, he apologized in various ways, but his wife would not forgive him. Didnt let him sleep all night, grabbed him all kinds of questioning and criticism.soulmate drawing free

The old colleague sighed: The thing I regret most in my life is getting a wife!

Once a man has this idea, is it still possible for the marriage to continue happily?soulmate drawing free

Men: Im sorry, I was wrong; women kept pressing: Im sorry, whats the use, you killed someone, can you not go to jail if you say sorry?Mens suggestion: Lets go eat something delicious and talk about it while eating; women dont appreciate it: what else to eat, Im full of anger, Im starving to death, anyway, you dont care about me, You dont love me either, you are a selfish person…..The husband said, Im sorry, I was wrong, and the wife said, whats wrong with you? Husband, I dont know either. If you say Im wrong, Im wrong. Wife, this is not an attitude of sincere admission. You dont even know where youre wrong. Findings:69% of differences in marriages are permanent.

In other words, most marital problems have no solution and require mutual compromise between husband and wife.

And the inclusiveness of women determines the success or failure of marriage.soulmate drawing free

Third: Women are becoming more and more capable, men are becoming more and more redundant

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A woman is born with the ability to quickly turn her home into her territory as soon as she gets married.soulmate drawing free

Women move around at home, ranging from oil, salt, sauce and vinegar, to financial insurance, as long as it is for this family, women will regard the nesting instinct as motherhood Authority itself calls the shots.soulmate drawing free

At the same time, because of the continuous progress and development of society, women are no longer the women of the past. She has children and does housework, and she also earns money and supports her family. Therefore, they Expectations of men will be higher, or simpler.soulmate drawing free

For example, many women hope that my husband will love me more, help me more, be more responsible…soulmate drawing free

If my husband loves me more, helps me more, and is more responsible…

If you cant do it, then they will get angry: Cant you do this? Ive done so much, whats wrong with nagging you? I cant hear it, you must not love me.soulmate drawing free

The husband is often attacked and rejected by his wife, so he feels that he is useless in this home:

The wife is disgusted when she is doing hygiene He is an eyesore and takes up space; when his wife takes care of children, he thinks he is clumsy…soulmate drawing free

Like my old colleague, he said: sometimes I feel Its superfluous, I dont want to go home after get off work, but its not enough if I dont go home, go home, she dislikes me in various ways.soulmate drawing free

But even if men really hide, they can feel their wives demands and grievances against them accumulating, and their fear of family and marriage is even stronger. .soulmate drawing free

This is the saddest thing, when husband and wife both need love for each other, but cannot keep each other warm, they can only escape from each other.

Husbands and wives are strangers who are not related by blood. No matter how well you do, as long as you hurt each other, the crack will be difficult to repair. Therefore, women, dont be fooled. Be quick and say things that attack your husband.soulmate drawing free

If you feel unwilling to make sacrifices in your family, then you would rather not do it than scold you while doing it. In the end, your husband and children will hate you. Your hard work is worthless.soulmate drawing free

For more female emotional articles, please pay attention to the WeChat public account: Psychological hole,soulmate drawing free

For marriage and emotional consultation, please add WeChat fangzhouzhou1975soulmate drawing free