What are the conflicts between couples or couples? How to solve it? I want to answer the question of how to resolve conflicts between husband and wife from the perspective of game theory of love.
The most critical ability to solve lifelong love is the ability to solve problems.a soulmate
The ability to solve problems mainly depends on two aspects: emotional ability and communication ability.
The first, emotional ability, needs to avoid three “donts”. Marriage expert John Gottman advises people to do three “donts” when dealing with conflict: dont withdraw, dont respond negatively, and dont pass negative emotions back and forth.a soulmate
First, dont hold back. When your partner complains or questions, dont try to escape conflict and dont act too defensive. Being wary and trying to escape will not solve the problem, but will make the partner feel more uncomfortable. If you feel that you are inconvenient to communicate with your partner or need time to think, you can tell the other person your difficulties directly and frankly, ask your partner to reschedule the time to discuss the conflict, and remember to keep your promise after setting a new time and place.a soulmate
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Secondly, dont respond negatively. Even if your partner treats you badly, try to control yourself and dont respond to conflict in negative ways such as sarcasm, provocation, and contempt. On the one hand, negative responses tend to intensify conflicts; on the other hand, partners are more likely to remember the negative events the other has done. Once they cause harm to their partners, both parties will spend more time and energy to make up for it.a soulmate
Going through old accounts is also a negative response. In the process of conflict, it is necessary to focus on the facts and avoid turning over old accounts. Going through the old accounts will not help resolve disputes, but will make the other party disgusted, thinking that you are constantly attacking TA with the past. If you find yourself constantly turning over old accounts, it means that your problems in the past have not been completely solved, and what you can never forget is the suppressed anger, the hurt that was covered up in the past, and so on. Put these issues aside for now and discuss them with your partner at another suitable time.a soulmate
Finally, if you accidentally react negatively, stop it in time, and dont turn into a back-and-forth transfer of negative emotions. When you realize that you and your partner are insulting and hurting each other, insulting and attacking each other, stop. You can raise your hands and ask for a break: “I think Im too excited now, lets stop for fifteen minutes and talk about it”. Once youve calmed down, prepare for the discussion, return to the conversation with your partner, and apologize for the previous bluster. Everyone loses control at times, but whether you are willing to apologize afterwards is a choice, which reflects your maturity to admit and take responsibility.a soulmate
Second, communication skills, you can use the “obedient-speaker” technique. Marriage expert Professor Markman believes that couples can use “obedience-speaker” skills to deal with conflict, such as using “speaking rights”, “pause and repeat” and so on. What does it mean? Let me list some “obedient-speaker” techniques.a soulmate
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