A very common problem is often encountered when repairing a relationship. There are two situations when they come to me for consultation:

The first is that the consulting party is at fault. He realizes that the relationship between the two is not as good as before, and actively realizes the lack of his role in the relationship. To repair the relationship, but I dont know where to start, we can guide him according to the relationship between the two, help him learn to empathize, provide emotional value correctly, and rebuild mutual trust.enfp soulmate

The second way is to find the wrong party through consultation. The other party is emotionally unstable, and a little thing will break out. Blaming and complaining about the Cold War has become the main theme of their relationship. Only one party realizes the existence of the problem.enfp soulmate

Faced with the first type of consultation, although the two often have conflicts and quarrels, because the consultation party is the main fault, as long as he is aware of the problem, making a little adjustment can ease the two. Peoples contradictions, convey their sincere willingness to change to the other party.enfp soulmate

But in the second type of consultation, he began to reflect and wanted to solve the problem, but the other party was still immersed in anger and unwilling to change. A healthy love should go both ways and be free and alone. The one-man show will make one party feel a deep sense of powerlessness.enfp soulmate

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Whenever I see them showing the pain, I think its true that only one person can heal Is it worth it?enfp soulmate

Indeed, a lot of emotional motivation comes from the positive feedback from both parties. You give me a cup of milk tea, and I feed you a cake; if you endure my occasional bad temper, I will Take the initiative to surprise you.enfp soulmate

Even if the relationship temporarily goes astray, couples who work together will repair their relationship according to their own ideas. Even if the method is conflicting, the purpose and result are the same, and they will be moved by the other partys contribution.enfp soulmate

It is easier to see the results and get considerable positive feedback. Even if the conflict is not resolved, it will be worthwhile in my heart.enfp soulmate

But if there is only one person to repair the relationship, it is like pulling the other person away. You are excited and hard on your side, and he has no response at all. When you try to communicate, you play the piano to the cow.enfp soulmate

Because I cant get positive feedback, there is always a person in my heart asking myself:enfp soulmate

Is this really worth it? Dont people care about this relationship? Is it stupid to do this?enfp soulmate

You will be constantly tortured by these voices, no one can help you, you can only communicate with him constantly, talk about new times, how to guide the topic, how to let him learn to understand, learn to change positions think.enfp soulmate

Since it is so hard, there is no need to continue repairing it?enfp soulmate

No one can give you a standard answer to this question

< p>Only you know whether the shoes are suitable or not. I believe that many friends have had such experiences. Friends and girlfriends quarreled with their counterparts, and they came to themselves to complain, and said the other party’s mistakes with snot and tears.

And you are also filled with righteous indignation. You analyze the incompatibility of the two of you with her, and persuade her to break up. As a result, they reconciled after two days, and turned their heads and complained about you. It was just a misunderstanding. , saying that hurts their feelings.enfp soulmate

Similarly, whether you can repair your relationship by yourself, you cannot rely on others to make decisions for you.enfp soulmate

But you can think about these two questions:

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1. What this relationship means to youenfp soulmate

2 .How much sacrifice can you accept

The meaning of love

Take out a piece of paper and write down the time you met, how you met, when you were together, The thing that moves you the most about the other person is whether you have changed before and after the relationship, and what has this relationship brought you.enfp soulmate

I know some college friends who answered these questions in the exact opposite way:enfp soulmate

Before meeting a girlfriend, Xiao A was idle, skipping classes or playing games all day, without any plans for the future , but after he met his current girlfriend, it was like a different person.enfp soulmate

Just because the celebrity that his girlfriend likes has a good figure, he joked that boys with abdominal muscles are the most self-disciplined, so he started to lose weight and exercise. , After a semester, although I didnt develop abdominal muscles, my mental state was completely different, from being lazy before to now being quick and capable.enfp soulmate

He even picked up the lessons he lost before. In order to give his girlfriend a future, he began to think about making money, and his thinking angle became much more mature. He used to think about what to buy all day long, how to ask his parents I want money, and now I start selling things, talking about cooperation, cost, resources and other topics.enfp soulmate

He has become confident and positive because of his love, which is the positive effect of his feelings. When he faces the crisis of his relationship, he does not hesitate to choose a person to try to repair his relationship, because he The current state is brought to him by love.enfp soulmate

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On the contrary, after falling in love, Xiao Bs mental state became very bad. In order to buy gifts She was reluctant to eat, and stayed up late every night to play games on the phone with her, resulting in she slept in class during the day.enfp soulmate

The other partys demands are only for himself, and he has a strong desire to control, so that little B has no personal freedom, and he has to report to her for everything he does, and even loses his sports hobby .enfp soulmate

Faced with emotional problems, he did not want to quarrel and tried to fix it, but chose to leave.enfp soulmate

What are you willing to pay for repairing

Repairing feelings is not a slogan, but something that really needs to be paid. Before, you have never thought in a different position and thought about what the other party thinks Your own, when you lose your temper, how the other party tolerates you.enfp soulmate

You need to spend time and energy to seriously review every quarrel between two people, whether the cause of the quarrel is finally resolved, and whether you ignore his emotional needs.enfp soulmate

Emotional recovery takes time, and you may have paid a lot and failed.enfp soulmate

Repairing a relationship with only one person is a lonely road. You need to have confidence in your relationship. Although the process is very hard, when the two get back together, you will feel that everything is worth it.enfp soulmate

It not only represents the preservation of past memories, but also the opening of a new chapter between you.enfp soulmate